my mom’s gonna kill herself
that’s pretty horrible
hey sorry about all these posts about my dysfunctional-ass family! i’m just stuck inside all the time and every single one of the six other people in this house is cray cray! and i can’t leave! i wonder why my panic attacks got so out of control! i’m not on medications to fix a problem i have, i’m on medications to cope with the problems everyone else has! yipee
do you ever like
start changing your bedsheets
and realize that you feel uncomfortable not having the option to get in bed for five minutes
relatedly yes i know i just woke up an hour ago but don’t laugh at me when i tell you i’m gonna take a nap because that is just rude
i feel soooooo bad today omg i can’t even handle it so yes i am going back to sleep
duh
i’m having a really bad day
i lost my birth certificate and my mom is literally going to hate me for the rest of my life because of this, it’s not like a white girl problem it’s like i literally fear for my safety when she’s angry and i have to be very careful not to piss her off in any way or she will do her very best to make my life hell
so that happened and i also just feel mega shitty healthwise
and i am always trapped in this fucking house and i hate it
and i don’t really like myself so i feel worthless anyway
and my computer is being really really irritable lately and i think it’s because i used up all the disk space so i’m deleting music and hoping the not responding crap will stop
anyway i just feel like laying back down in bed and crying all day and i think i would feel like that even if there were no contributing outside forces
yay
yeah no big fucking deal i am having a panic attack because i thought about death of a salesman?
this isn’t a normal people thing
i am seriously fucked
i had a really really really terrible day and i had a panic attack and everything and cried sooo much
but i’m actually in a really good confident mood right now
i think it was really good to get it out of my system yo
so stressed out my head’s gonna explode
my mom should not need to use my room as her office space
i need safe space
i’m hiding in the bathroom because i need space
this sucks she sucks
this blog is a really strange mixture of pathetic teen angst bullshit and poetic insightful little tidbits
i just went back and read the whole thing and just kind of
all the things i’ve ever said i was worried about potentially happening on this blog have happened
i don’t know what i’m really talking about because i feel like i just incessantly whine
but really i think i say a lot of things that it’s good for me to get out of my system
go blog
i can’t look through facebook anymore because it hurts too much to see myself in pictures with people who used to like me
l o l
I’M LITERALLY SO UNHAPPY ALL THE TIME
WHY IS THIS THE WAY IT IS FOR ME
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO HELP MYSELF
